Frustrations of a new kind....

If you are wondering where I am, I am here going a bit crazy...lol

Hubby was asked by his supervisor to work nights for a couple of weeks. No problem, hubby is a go with the flow kind of guy. He calls me at 9:30pm night before last, "Honey the car is missing." My heart drops into my stomach, Las Vegas trip vanishes before my eyes. We cannot afford this again!!!

Again, you say? Hubby works downtown, or as I call it the "hellpit" (not in front of the kids...geez) This past November hubby's car was stolen from the parking lot at 11:20am. It took the thief 2 minutes to get in and take off. Have the police recovered it? No, apparently there is a year long donut sale going on. Besides it was an older car, we only had liability on it (so no rental) and in Oklahoma you do not have to have a title on a car 10 years old or older to sell it for scrap. I am guessing that puppy was sold and smashed within a couple of hours.
This changed our routine a bit. I now get up early and take hubby to the bus. He had asked for a new parking pass for the downtown lot, but never heard back. Being the laid back guy he is, he didn't follow up. For a while this did not matter because he was riding the bus.

Well, duh! Neither of us thought about it when he agreed to work the night shift for a couple of weeks, and the dumb @#@$#*%! security officer had his car towed. There are not that many people working at night, the security officer could have checked around....anyway. Hubby was able to find a ride home that night. Yesterday morning my mom took him to the car lot they had towed it to. After paying 165 dollars, he went to work quite grumbly. This night gig will be over Friday.

Thank goodness because I am grumpy too! I tripped over Jaxson the other day and jammed my toe, and twisted my already bad ankle. After walking funny because of the toe and ankle, my knee and hip hurt....hahahaha I do look kind of funny hobbling around. The kids miss their dad at night. Kids like routine and get grumpy too, when it is changed.

Hope you are all well! i have not forgotten any of you! I have a growing list of blogs to catch up on, and I will. I promise!!
:)

This is my outlook today...what's yours??

Unexpected

There are times I expect his memory. I seem to psyche myself up for those dates. As they grow near, I cry, I take flowers to the marker with his name. His birthday, Christmas, the actual due date he was expected.

But there are days that I am not prepared for the overwhelming loss. It has been a little over 3 years and I still ache.

I went to counseling but there is only so much of that I could stand. They suggested group therapy, but the thought of listening to other women cry and grieve was not something I thought I could handle. I could barely handle my own emotions.

Yesterday was not a stand out date. But I was flooded with memories and sadness. I bought flowers and hubby took me to the cemetery. We haven't been there since February. Some people think (and have actually told us) that we should be over this by now. How on earth do you "get over" exactly. Maybe I should have stuck with the counseling long enough to find out.

Today I feel better. It seems to help, taking flowers. Talking to him, hubby clutching my hand tightly to let me know he still shares the same pain. It is no less gone from him than me. And knowing that helps too in a way.

Friday Fill-Ins

1. The last time I lost my temper I took a walk around the block to calm down!
2. Schools over testing our kids is what I'm fed up with!
3. The next book I'd like to read is Kite Runner.
4. Our trip to Vegas in August is what I'm looking forward to.
5. If you can't get rid of the skeleton[s] in your closet, better lock the door!
6. The best thing I got in the mail recently was my Taste of Home magazine.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to bed early, tomorrow my plans include working a few hours and a nice dinner with the family and Sunday, I want to relax, maybe go to the zoo again or to the park, hopefully it will not rain all weekend!

Go HERE
for more Friday Fill Ins

reading time

I picked up 2 books at the library a couple of weeks ago, Alphabet Weekends by Elizabeth Noble and Weight of Water by Anita Shreve.

Alphabet Weekends is a delight. Elizabeth Noble is an author I have really enjoyed the past few years. Her book The Friendship Test is wonderful.

Anita Shreve is good too, but way too depressing at times for me. Light on Snow was good. Sad, but good. I thought The Pilot's Wife was very good as well.
Weight of Water has got to be one of the most disturbing and depressing books I have read. I ended up having to flip ahead, unable to read every page. Maybe it's just me.

I want to read Kite Runner, there is a 3 week waiting list at the library for a copy!

What are you reading?

Heads Or Tails

This week's theme/prompt is:

HEADS - Tip
*OR*
TAILS - Anything that rhymes with Tip.

Trip down memory lane

I have been thinking of my grandmother lately. She was a strong, gentle lady with a generous and loving heart. I miss her. Her wisdom, her singing, her understanding....I miss everything about her. She was the glue that kept our family close for years. We are still close but time and circumstances have distanced us. When I think of her, I am also flooded with family memories of get togethers, birthday parties, holidays...laughter, joy and belonging.

Inspiration

I have found the greatest source of inspiration this weekend!!
Hubby bought me milk chocolate Dove squares that have creamy caramel inside...oh yum.
The interesting thing about these candies, is they have a message written inside the wrapper. Like fortune cookie.

"buy yourself flowers"
"dare to dream"
"send a love letter this week"
"wink at someone driving past today"
"get your feet massaged"

Lovely messages! And lovely chocolates :)

**UPDATE: Here are two wrappers

*If they can do it, you know you can*
*Smile before bed, you'll sleep better*