Frustrations of a new kind....

If you are wondering where I am, I am here going a bit crazy...lol

Hubby was asked by his supervisor to work nights for a couple of weeks. No problem, hubby is a go with the flow kind of guy. He calls me at 9:30pm night before last, "Honey the car is missing." My heart drops into my stomach, Las Vegas trip vanishes before my eyes. We cannot afford this again!!!

Again, you say? Hubby works downtown, or as I call it the "hellpit" (not in front of the kids...geez) This past November hubby's car was stolen from the parking lot at 11:20am. It took the thief 2 minutes to get in and take off. Have the police recovered it? No, apparently there is a year long donut sale going on. Besides it was an older car, we only had liability on it (so no rental) and in Oklahoma you do not have to have a title on a car 10 years old or older to sell it for scrap. I am guessing that puppy was sold and smashed within a couple of hours.
This changed our routine a bit. I now get up early and take hubby to the bus. He had asked for a new parking pass for the downtown lot, but never heard back. Being the laid back guy he is, he didn't follow up. For a while this did not matter because he was riding the bus.

Well, duh! Neither of us thought about it when he agreed to work the night shift for a couple of weeks, and the dumb @#@$#*%! security officer had his car towed. There are not that many people working at night, the security officer could have checked around....anyway. Hubby was able to find a ride home that night. Yesterday morning my mom took him to the car lot they had towed it to. After paying 165 dollars, he went to work quite grumbly. This night gig will be over Friday.

Thank goodness because I am grumpy too! I tripped over Jaxson the other day and jammed my toe, and twisted my already bad ankle. After walking funny because of the toe and ankle, my knee and hip hurt....hahahaha I do look kind of funny hobbling around. The kids miss their dad at night. Kids like routine and get grumpy too, when it is changed.

Hope you are all well! i have not forgotten any of you! I have a growing list of blogs to catch up on, and I will. I promise!!
:)

This is my outlook today...what's yours??

Unexpected

There are times I expect his memory. I seem to psyche myself up for those dates. As they grow near, I cry, I take flowers to the marker with his name. His birthday, Christmas, the actual due date he was expected.

But there are days that I am not prepared for the overwhelming loss. It has been a little over 3 years and I still ache.

I went to counseling but there is only so much of that I could stand. They suggested group therapy, but the thought of listening to other women cry and grieve was not something I thought I could handle. I could barely handle my own emotions.

Yesterday was not a stand out date. But I was flooded with memories and sadness. I bought flowers and hubby took me to the cemetery. We haven't been there since February. Some people think (and have actually told us) that we should be over this by now. How on earth do you "get over" exactly. Maybe I should have stuck with the counseling long enough to find out.

Today I feel better. It seems to help, taking flowers. Talking to him, hubby clutching my hand tightly to let me know he still shares the same pain. It is no less gone from him than me. And knowing that helps too in a way.

Friday Fill-Ins

1. The last time I lost my temper I took a walk around the block to calm down!
2. Schools over testing our kids is what I'm fed up with!
3. The next book I'd like to read is Kite Runner.
4. Our trip to Vegas in August is what I'm looking forward to.
5. If you can't get rid of the skeleton[s] in your closet, better lock the door!
6. The best thing I got in the mail recently was my Taste of Home magazine.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to bed early, tomorrow my plans include working a few hours and a nice dinner with the family and Sunday, I want to relax, maybe go to the zoo again or to the park, hopefully it will not rain all weekend!

Go HERE
for more Friday Fill Ins

reading time

I picked up 2 books at the library a couple of weeks ago, Alphabet Weekends by Elizabeth Noble and Weight of Water by Anita Shreve.

Alphabet Weekends is a delight. Elizabeth Noble is an author I have really enjoyed the past few years. Her book The Friendship Test is wonderful.

Anita Shreve is good too, but way too depressing at times for me. Light on Snow was good. Sad, but good. I thought The Pilot's Wife was very good as well.
Weight of Water has got to be one of the most disturbing and depressing books I have read. I ended up having to flip ahead, unable to read every page. Maybe it's just me.

I want to read Kite Runner, there is a 3 week waiting list at the library for a copy!

What are you reading?

Heads Or Tails

This week's theme/prompt is:

HEADS - Tip
*OR*
TAILS - Anything that rhymes with Tip.

Trip down memory lane

I have been thinking of my grandmother lately. She was a strong, gentle lady with a generous and loving heart. I miss her. Her wisdom, her singing, her understanding....I miss everything about her. She was the glue that kept our family close for years. We are still close but time and circumstances have distanced us. When I think of her, I am also flooded with family memories of get togethers, birthday parties, holidays...laughter, joy and belonging.

Inspiration

I have found the greatest source of inspiration this weekend!!
Hubby bought me milk chocolate Dove squares that have creamy caramel inside...oh yum.
The interesting thing about these candies, is they have a message written inside the wrapper. Like fortune cookie.

"buy yourself flowers"
"dare to dream"
"send a love letter this week"
"wink at someone driving past today"
"get your feet massaged"

Lovely messages! And lovely chocolates :)

**UPDATE: Here are two wrappers

*If they can do it, you know you can*
*Smile before bed, you'll sleep better*

Chef Isabella

Somehow Bella always makes the best pie (despite the plastic after taste)

How I fought the BLUES today....

As some of you know, I work for a few hours on Saturdays. Today I went in at 4am. My mom works in the same department, actually we sit in the same cube! She is a Monday-Friday fulltime employee, so it is rare that I see her. Today I was lucky (and blessed) to spend time with her. She was trying to get overtime and has been helping with my brother's twin girls since the birth of his son a few weeks ago. Between schedules, health issues and Jaxson having a cold, I have been out of commission to help out much.

I told her to bring the girls to me and she could have the afternoon off to rest.
I had so much fun! They are too sweet. Just learning to walk, eating solid food and soaking up the actions of my kids.....they took it all in.

They left tired and happy. Hopefully they will sleep all night!

Blues

Don't you hate it when you get the blues?
I have the blues. No particular reason, just have the blues. I think part of it is, hubby and I have plans for the future and the future seems far away. Does that make sense? I know we will eventually get there and I will eventually get to return to school and accomplish my goals, but it seems so far away. Time seems to fly by, the kids are getting older and life just seems so fast. I feel like my chances of doing the things I want to in life, are getting fewer and far between.

Hope you aren't totally depressed by this. I am overall happy. And I feel a little guilty feeling the way I do. There are people who are worse off than I. My marriage is good. My kids are healthy. I am healthy. So that should be good enough right?
Why do I want more? Is it just human nature? Am I being selfish? Is it just a bad day and tomorrow I will feel differently?

How Time Flies

It seems like just yesterday that I brought her home from the hospital. I would dress her in the cutest outfits, bought 15 pairs of shoes before she could walk, and sing to her every night.

Now, she can read, write and asserts more independence every day. One part of me is quite proud of the young lady she is shaping up to be, another part is wants to slow time down. Just for a bit

Meme about Me

I was tagged by Working Mum On The Verge for this meme
I have answered these before, so I will try to use new answers :)

What was I doing ten years ago?
I was 19, therefore I knew EVERYTHING. Wish I had a time machine, so I could go back and slap some sense into myself...oh well, I wouldn't be where I am if I did that. And I like where I am

5 Things on my To Do List today
1. clean out fridge
2. laundry
3. finish library book before I have to return it (yeah right)
4. make dinner
5. work on potty training Jaxson...sigh

5 Snacks I enjoy
Cheez Its
any cheese, except bleu cheese....yuck!
granola bars
Dove chocolates
Strawberries

Things I would do if I were a billionaire
buy a house
travel anywhere and everywhere
put my kids in private schools
buy my mom a house
pay off debts and family's debts

Five jobs that I have had
receptionist dating service...hehehe
supervisor for book store
customer service
part time auditor for a casino...hehehe
my first job was at a sno-cone stand, that was fun!

Three of my bad habits
I worry too much
I wait until the last minute to get out of bed and then have to rush around
hmmmmm....another one?

Five places I have lived
Texas
Oklahoma
how boring is that?

I decided not to tag anyone specifically for this meme, but if you are reading this and want to play along, go for it! Let me know, so I can check out your answers!

Congrats!

I want to thank Working Mum On The Verge for honoring me with the Award of Distinction! She created this award for blogs that make you, "think, laugh, cry or sigh" The only rule is you should pass it to another 5 blogs.

And I am passing the award to the following blogs!

So Shiok! for making me laugh (she is funny!) and sigh, because I would love to see some of the places she posts about!
Babywearing Buzz for making me laugh and think
Comedy Plus for providing great laughs and entertainment!
Three Weddings for making me laugh,cry and think
As good as it gets for making me laugh and think..I am glad I found ya again!!

Congrats everyone!

Heads or Tails

Today it is HEADS
and the theme is EXPRESS, you can use the exact word or any form of it!

My favorite pics of the kids' expressions









To see more Heads Or Tails, go HERE

Give Me Five Monday

Today's Theme

Give Me Five favorite candies, of all time or currently.

1. Hershey's chocolate bar
2. Jelly Belly Jelly Benas...cuz they have so many flavors you can combine!

3. York Peppermint Patties
4. Bottle caps...especially the rootbeer ones...I would fight for it..hehe

5. Carmello candy bar...yum!


For more Give Me Five Monday entries go HERE

Spring!!!!!!

Today it felt like Spring!!! FINALLY!! Yippee!!
Can you tell I am excited? The whole family was excited, so we decided to load up and head to the zoo! Hope you had a great day too!

***FYI- I will be featuring pictures and stories of our trip on my blog Kooky Kids for the next week. There will be some very cool things to see!***

Saturday Goofiness

Today I am very tired, which makes me feel loopy/goofy. I work some Saturdays at a healthcare facility. Just paperwork, but it gets me out of the house some :) I like to be home in time for lunch with the family, so I go in at 4am...hehe,,I know, too early for the weekend!

Yesterday I told you hubby bought me roses...here they are.

He would do this more often, but when flowers die, I get sad....Am I weird? His resolution to this on Valentines Day was a painting of a rose...Isn't that sweet?

And I threw this in because it makes me smile. This is the flower that my daughter picked out at the hospital when her brother was born. She had her nana buy it, and she very proudly presented it to me.


Hope you are all having a wonderful day!!

Friday Fill Ins

1. Tonight I saw a spider in the kitchen!! YIKES!
2. Getting paid makes me wanna dance!
3. Splitting a few appetizers between friends = a good time :)
4. Bob Dylan is someone I'd like to get to know better.
5. The smell of rain reminds me so much of springtime!
6. Hubby brought me roses and that made it all better.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to making hubby his favorite meal, tomorrow my plans include working a few hours and Sunday, I want to relax and read the book I got from the library, Alphabet Weekends by Elizabeth Noble!

For more fun Friday Fill Ins, go HERE

"The tree is not attacking you! Stop!"

Yes, these words were actually coming out of my mouth, to my son, at the dentist office. This morning both kids had a check up. Isabella was having her regular cleaning and this would be Jaxson's first check up. The assistant explained to me that for children Jaxson's age, the dentist would come into the conference room to check him. Jaxson was to face me and lean back onto the dentist's lap.
While waiting for the exam, Jaxson explores the conference room we are in. It is a small room, with 3 chairs, a coffee table holding a basket of pamphlets on how to get a great smile, 2 windows, and a fake, sickly looking, tree.
Of course, the basket of pamphlets catch his attention. After reading them with lightening speed, he starts throwing them in the air like confetti. "Yea! Yea! Look Momma!" I gather them up and place them back in the basket (the crumpled ones on the bottom, of course). When I turn around, he has discovered the shades covering the windows. The last thing I need added to the bill is window coverings. I pulled the shade up, hoping to distract him with the view. It worked for a while (thanks to a city bus stop, semis and a loose dog)
Growing tired of this, he stood to look around, and the fake, sickly looking, tree brushed his arm. He jerked his body to face the tree, a look of fierce determination on his little face. He put his hands up like Buzz Lightyear and made a whoooooshing sound. I was so overcome with laughter, that I couldn't keep it in. This, of course, just egged him on. He began slapping at the big droopy leaves. I told him to stop, and he did. But only to retrieve his sippycup. Then the fight was on! He knocked his cup into the leaves, making whooshing noises, eyes closed. "The tree is not attacking you! Stop!"
And this is how the dentist found us....sigh.....At least the dental exams were both good. We do this again in November? Oy Vay

Wordless Wednesday

Mikhail Baryshnikov

For more Wordless Wednesdays go HERE
Thanks to Five Minutes For Mom for hosting!

Uncomplicated

My husband is uncomplicated. That does not mean he is uninteresting. He is very bright and knows more trivia than I thought a brain could hold. When I say he is uncomplicated, I mean it as a compliment. He doesn't play games, mind games. He is very straight forward and has a one track mind. (He cannot talk on the phone and be doing anything else) He is a simple man. He loves me. He loves the kids. He is a hardworker. He helps out friends and neighbors when their in need.
If I am sick, I know he will take care of me. When the kids are sick, he takes turns with me during the night. Often he takes more turns than me because, "Your home all day with them, let me give you a break." He makes breakfast every Sunday morning for me. He often does the dishes after dinner because he says, "it's the least I can do since you cooked such a good meal."
His love is uncomplicated and unconditional. I know he loves me. His very actions reinforce this knowledge.

Okay, I will wrap this sappy post up. I was feeling warm and fuzzy thinking of the past weekend. I was still not feeling well, so Saturday he took us out. And Sunday he picked this lovely pizza up at the take and bake pizzeria. I got a good guy :)

Heads or Tails

Today it is Heads - The topic Fool, Foolish or Foolhardy I was a fool to think I could accomplish this mission. Who did I think I was? He is smarter, cuter and wise to my tricks. So, I am the fool today. I give you my son's response to my plea, "Eat your vegetables." *****Unfortunately the video is being as stubborn as my son (lol) Suffice it to say he cracks up with laughter and shakes his head no. Guess the joke's on me again!


Go Here for more fun Heads or Tails